therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
