ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
my liver is dry heaving
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
