i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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