Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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