I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I am midnight drunk by noon
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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