well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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