i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
