Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
