Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize