I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
