yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
