he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
