these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
