i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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