NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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