He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
