Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
