i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
