we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
