Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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