i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thank you for not boning my boss.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Randomize
