She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
