did you get engaged???
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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