Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
