well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
