so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
