Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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