Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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