I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was born a porn star she said
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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