Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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