just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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