How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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