I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
