I like my sex mixed with concussions.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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