Apparently you make a good broom.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
