I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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