oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
