# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You can't motorboat a personality
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
