I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
