You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
