Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
