we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
