my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize