I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
