is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
