I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
