dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
