ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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