i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
