I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
if only i could text you this smell
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
