you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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