The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
