I think I died a long time ago.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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