is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I need to calm my uterus...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
