Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I came so hard my ears popped.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
