yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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