So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
