Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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