Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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